Staying Here
by AllytheVamp
Summary: When Doyle's past catches up to him, he and Cordelia venture out to save Angel and possibly the whole world.


Staying Here  
  
By Allison Reilly  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________________  
Chapter One: The Vision  
  
Doyle  
  
  
  
It was one of those days. You know the type. Where everything drags on and on until you think you'll knaw your own foot off just for something to do. I was just looking through the files and remembering everything that had happened to the three of us, as Angel stormed in and went straight for his office. I couldn't even open my mouth.  
  
Cordy had just gotten in as Angel had stormed out, apparantly, I'd decided, in another one of his weekly funks. She'd been slamming around the office for about ten minutes before I decided to try and bring up the little problem we'd been having with the folder organizing she'd been doing.  
  
"Uh, Cordy?" I asked timidly.  
  
Cordy whirled around impatiently. "What is it now?" She tossed her bag on Angel's chair and put her hands on her hips.  
  
"Bad day princess?" I asked putting the folder down. There was a trace of amusement in my voice as she rolled her eyes and nodded grimly.  
  
She sat down at the desk and put her head in her hands. I instantly felt concerned. I mean, it's very rare you see someone like Cordelia down in the dumps. She was usually fiesty and full of life. Now she looked drained, irritated and tired.  
  
"Want to tell me about it?" I sat across from her and smiled encouragingly.  
  
"I went to this audition and this girl who looked totally slutty and couldn't even act, came in and like, stole my thunder completely. She got in my face, gave the people all these phoney compliments and she may as well have bribed them cause she was horrible and ugly..." she searched for the right word and gestured with her hands. "...And...well, she was an idiot! I deserved that commercial! I mean butt kissing much?!"  
  
As Cordy finished her rant she got up and began to pace.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Princess." I told her putting the folder she had ruined away. Every time she filed anything, she always managed to figure out a way to mess it up and it was adorable how mad she got when Angel pointed it out.  
  
"I'm a thousand times better than that girl. She deserves a curse or...or maybe we can give her boils. Yeah! That's right! We can even get Mr. likes-to-brood up here to scruff her..." Cordy frowned. "But wait a sec, he's got that whole don't-hurt-humans thing going on right? Hey maybe we can just do a spell that will get her sent to some horrible dimention..."  
  
"Uh Cordy I think you're gettin a bit carried away there." I interrupted. "I'm sorry that you didn't get the commercial, but there's gonna be others. I promise you."  
  
Cordy looked up. She gave me those pleading eyes. The ones that could melt someone made of ice. She knows they get me everytime.   
  
"When?" she whispered.  
  
"This is really getting ya down isn't it?" I was a bit surprised. Cordy is so confident. I found it hard to believe that anyone would overlook her for anything.  
  
She nodded. "Doyle, I just used to get everything so easily, you know? That was my life. I wanted, I took. That was me. I was in control. But now I can't even get myself a lousy commercial for some tacky chocolate that tastes like crap let alone a little new clothes!" she gestured downward at her spotless white jeans and tank-top. "I mean when you look at me, what do you see? Certainly not actress."  
  
I let my eyes roam over her outfit for a second and then looked up again.  
  
"I see a beautiful woman who is just a little impatient. Now I've never seen you act, so I don't know what your talents are, but if those people down at that company were so blind as to not seen what's right in front of them then who needs um! Am I right?" I tried to encourage her.   
  
Then something happened that I was rarely privledged to witness. She gave me a genuine smile. I melt when she does this, I really do. Her whole face lit up when she smiled. I am whipped. Seriously whipped by her and I'm damn proud of it! It's worth everything just to see that smile.  
  
"Thanks Doyle." she murmured.  
  
"Hey at least you don't get mind-splitting, head cracking vision at the most inappropriate times!" I chuckled grimly.   
  
She smiled brightly. "Hey yeah! And at least I'm not really short and have the worst taste in clothes ever!"   
  
I rolled my eyes. "Gee Cordy, could ya for once-" I stopped speaking when my head felt as if it had been hit by a truck.   
  
The pain clouded everything around me and I slumped on the floor clutching my forehead in agony as the visions started. There was this girl. She had golden hair, blue eyes and looked startlingly farmiliar. She was holding something over a huge pot and humming to herself. When she dropped it in, something popped and I saw myself screaming in agony. I saw Cordy aswell. She was standing in the corner struggling in her chains. Angel?? Where was Angel? I sensed he wasn't far away, but he was hurt. He couldn't help me. Everything was blurred as I saw the crystal in my hands crumble. I screamed again. Then the pain exploded in my head in one final burst and I was lying on the floor, Cordy standing over me with a relieved yet shocked expression on her face.  
  
"Doyle, what was that?" she whispered.  
  
"A vision," I choked struggling to get up. I noticed Angel and he handed me a glass of something. Not caring what it was, I drowned it hoping it would stop the ringing in my ears. "I saw...all these things..." I couldn't finish as nausea overwhelmed me for a second. I dropped the glass and it shattered onto the table (lucky for me). Angel pulled me up and sat me in a chair. I didn't want to sit, so I tried to get up. Cordy gently, but firmly grabbed my shoulder and made me sit back down. I'd seen concern on her face before but never like this!  
  
"Doyle that had to be more than a vision! I've never heard you scream like that!"  
  
I gasped. "Scream?"  
  
"Doyle you were lying on the floor screaming like something was killing you!" Angel informed me. His dark eyes were etched with concern. "What did you see?"  
  
I thought hard for a moment. Then my head cleared and I felt like screaming some more.   
  
"I saw myself die." I mumbled.  
  
Cordy and Angel stared at me wordlessly.  
  
That's when I passed out.  
  
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Chapter Two: The Story  
  
Cordelia  
  
  
  
I swear one of these times Doyle is going to give me a heart attack with these visions of his. Usually, they aren't a big deal. Just he'll suddenly keel over and hold his head, then it's over, Angel has work, we have some creepy adventure and my salary is paid. Simple enough right?  
  
Then Doyle had to scare me like that.  
  
I had never been so embarressed, losing to someone like that. I meant what I said to Doyle, I am used to getting what I want. And I usually get it. This time, I saw it slip through my fingers. Just like that. I felt like someone had stepped on me, and I was dirty. I tried to walk it off, treating myself to the rare luxury of a mochachino, but nothing worked. I felt like crying. Everytime I turned the corner I felt like crying.   
  
When I got to the office, I was so furious with myself I could barely speak. Doyle said my name and I snapped at him. If he had been anyone else, he would have backed off and let me alone, but not Doyle. He had to ask me what was wrong. The whole thing just flooded out of me. I'm not used to having someone to talk to like that. Surprising as it may be, talking to him gave me a strange sense of closure. Comfort. I felt better about myself.   
  
When I talked to Xander he never seemed to take me seriously. He'd always joke about things in the middle of my pain and then I'd get mad and it was fighting time. You can only hear cracks about yourself so many times before you start to believe it. Doyle knows what I'm like. I take any chance I can get to give him a hard time because I *can*. It's what I'm good at. Doyle always cares, no matter what. I never realized how much that helped.  
  
Then we were joking back and forth and then suddenly, he clutched his head. I assumed it was the regular deal, so I yelled for Angel. Then all of the sudden he lurched to the floor and started screaming and thrashing at his head.   
  
"Doyle-!?" I gasped and ran over to him.  
  
His hand reached out and he pushed me away roughly. I slammed into the wall. I just stood there, breathing hard, watching as he writhed. I wanted to help him so badly. I had never been so scared. My heart was in my throat and I was shaking. I didn't know what to do.   
  
Angel ran into the room.  
  
"What happened Cordelia?" he asked me moving towards Doyle. I couldn't answer. I let out a shuddering breath.  
  
Angel grabbed Doyle's thrashing arms and held them in place. "Doyle! Snap out of it!" he shouted.  
  
Doyle's eyes remained shut and he screamed again, like he was in agony. He struggled helplessly in Angel's grasp.  
  
I felt something like a panicked sob rise in my throat. "Angel make him stop!"   
  
"Doyle!" Angel said softer this time.   
  
Doyle stopped thrashing and went limp. I freaked out and ran over to him. Angel pulled me back, releasing Doyle's arms.  
  
"It's ok Cordy," he soothed me as Doyle's eyes blinked open. "He's ok."  
  
If only that were true...  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
After Doyle passed out, Angel and I managed to get him onto the couch. I took the job of watching over him, while Brood-boy went patroling. He was sleeping so peacefully, like nothing had happened. Ocasionally he would start to mumble something, the he would stop and his eyes would flutter, but stay closed. I found myself watching him. Finally he woke up.  
  
"Hey Doyle," I murmured akwardly. "How are you feeling?"  
  
Doyle sat up and kicked to quilt I had put on him, off. "Very tired." he answered rubbing his eyes.  
  
I gaped at him. "Tired?? It's been three hours! Don't give me the tired thing."  
  
It was Doyle's turn to gape at me.   
  
"Well if I had known I was going to be making you wait I would have tried not to pass out like that." he gave me a lopsided grin and I rolled my eyes. Then concern washed over me as I remembered what he said.  
  
"Doyle, in that vision, did you really see..." I paused, not wanting to say it aloud. "...What you said?" I finished lamely.  
  
Doyle froze. His eyes got this panicked look in them and I saw genuine fear in his face as he nodded slowly.   
  
"Yeah, I did alright."   
  
"What happened?"   
  
"In the vision?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
He paused again and let out a shuddering breath. "There's a story that goes with the vision. See, when I was little I found something buried in my backyard. It was this round crystal the size of a pea. Me bein' the curious kid I was, took it inside and kept it. As I grew up I kinda forgot about it, you know? Until one night," Doyle shivered and I came across from my chair to the couch. I looked him in the eyes. He had the bluest eyes I'd ever seen.   
  
Doyle cleared his throat abruptly. "...This woman came into my apartment. She told me that she knew about the crystal and she wanted it back. She said the fate of the whole world depended on whether or not I gave her the thing." He shook his head and his face grew bitter. "I didn't give it to her. I ran. When I stopped running I looked up the crystal and I found out what it was."  
  
Doyle looked at me full on now, completly turning around. "It's the missing link in this puzzle. There's a race of demons called the Genshj and long ago they decided they wanted to destroy the world." At my confused look he chuckled briefly and continued. "They didn't like where they were living so they figured that the rest of the world must be even worse. So they created this spell that would open a portal and suck the Earth into Hell. The only thing preventing this was a spell that binds the magic of the Genshj forever," he sighed heavily. "The little crystal I had was the missing part of that spell."  
  
I stared at him intently. "So why did she want it then?"  
  
"The girl who was after me didn't understand that her people wanted to destroy the world. All she thought was going to happen was that they were going to rule. So she said she'd be back for me. She said once she got that crystal, she'd kill me in the most painful way possible." Doyle's face contorted in anger. "I wanted to get rid of it. But I knew that I couldn't just throw it away, so I tried to find someone who knew of the spell and wanted to bind it. I never found that person."  
  
"So I guess the PTB are warning me she's coming." he leaned back into the couch and sighed. "I need to go to an Island called Honfer. It's supposed to be just off the coast of the Bahamas. Very nice and sunny, is my guess. Then I need to find the person. Only problem is I don't know where to start."  
  
I shook my head, trying to take all this in. "Doyle, how did you find all this out? And why didn't you tell me and Angel? Why did you keep it from us?"   
  
"I was afriad." Doyle replied catching my eyes again. He looked so ashamed I felt sorry for him. I reached out and set a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me and I smiled.  
  
"Don't worry Doyle," I said with fake cheerful-ness. "Now that I know what's up, I can tell Angel and we can solve this thing! Besides it's not like you carry the thing with you right? The girl won't come here!"  
  
My smile faded as Doyle's face changed again.  
  
Grimly, he reached into his pocket. My heart sank.  
  
"You didn't-"  
  
"Sorry, Princess," he said sincerly. "But it's here with me right now."  
  
That's when we heard the thud downstairs.  
  
Doyle and I looked at eachother.  
  
Then we bolted.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
Chapter Three: The Kidnapping  
  
Doyle  
  
  
  
As we raced downstairs, I cursed myself for telling Cordy what I had told her. There was no way in hell the Genshj were going to let me off for keeping the thing, and I didn't want Cordelia or Angel involved. When I got downstairs I realized it was too late.   
  
The woman was there with Angel. She had her hand on the blinds and had Angel in a choke hold.  
  
"Angel!" Cordy yelled racing over. I grabbed her around the waist and held her back. She whirled around to stare at me increduously.  
  
"What are you doing? We have to get Angel-"  
  
"Cordy," I said sternly. "Calm down alright?"  
  
There must have been some kinda urgency in my face cause she backed off immediatly.  
  
"Long time no see Allen," the girl, whose name I couldn't seem to remember sneered at me. "Take one more step and your boss is dust."  
  
"Angel," I tried to keep the panicked tremor from my voice as he stared at me. He was frightened. "It's ok. I'm going to save you."  
  
"How are you going to save yourself?" the girl spoke up. Angel writhed in her grasp and I heard her tighten her grip.  
  
"Doyle, she's too strong!" he blurted out.  
  
Cordy took a step forward. "Listen Genshj girl, Angel isn't a part of this. So let him go I promise that we'll give you the crystal. It's not him you want!"  
  
I looked over at Cordy feeling briefly proud of her. She was deathly afraid right now, but nevertheless she still could seem stern in that Cordelia way of hers.  
  
"Shut-up!" The girl muttered harshly "I can see what you're feeling. You're afraid of losing him. I know perfectly well your intentions are to trick me. Nothing gets passed us. Nothing! The Genshj will have the crystal of Mure, and I will have your head!" she pointed a perfect red fingernail at me.   
  
"Let him go!" I snapped. "He's not a part of this!"  
  
"Not in your life!" she retorted. "He's as much a part as you are!" She twisted Angel's hands behind his back and he cried out as she snapped one of his arms. I could tell it was broken. I winced.  
  
"Angel!" Cordelia wailed.  
  
"Cordy," Angel gasped. "Doyle, it's ok. I'll heal. Just figure out something! I'll be fine!"  
  
"SHUT UP!" The girl grabbed Angel and lept abruptly through the window, leaving glass all over Angels apartment. Cordy raced over to window and screamed Angel's name. I closed my eyes, guilt almost overwhelming me. They had leapt into the sunlight, but I knew he was alright. She wouldn't kill him. Not now at least. I opened my eyes seeing that Cordy was sitting in the window sill staring blankly into the sky. Sunlight poured over the rooms illuminating everything that was usually so dark. I walked over slowly to Cordy. Then I looked her in the eyes.  
  
"I have to go." I whispered.  
  
"I'm coming with you."  
  
I knew she would say that. I expected it.   
  
"You can't."   
  
"Why not?" Her voice was sharp and high-pitched against the sudden silence. "I can help you Doyle. Do you want to just leave me here alone to wait, every minute wondering if you're still alive? If Angel is?"  
  
She stood up and I felt very small as she glared down at me. "I'm coming," she said firmly.  
  
"Cordelia," I stood and faced her, looking in her pained brown eyes. "I know I'm not as strong as Angel. I know I'll never be as good as him at anything. But I know that I need to do this. I know you can help. Believe me when I tell you I want you to come with me, more than anything..." A lump formed in my throat. I wanted to say 'yes come with me', but I knew I shouldn't. I didn't want her to get hurt and if she came along, I knew she would.  
  
"But I can't. You and I both know that. I gotta do this. Alone."  
  
Cordy stared at me for a long time. Her eyes grew narrow and glazed with frusterated tears. I trembled when I thought of how I was hurting her, but I stood my ground. It was the right thing...I had to remember that. Then Cordelia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened them slowly and looked as if she wanted to say something, but then shook her head and walked towards the door.   
  
I waited until I heard the door slam. Then I walked towards the liquor cabinet and drowned a glass.  
  
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Chapter Four: The Spell  
  
Cordelia  
  
  
  
I raced to my car and yanked the door open, breaking a nail. I cursed and then collapsed in the seat. I didn't have enough strength to get angry or else I would probably have smashed a hole right through the windshield. How dare he tell me I couldn't come! When he looked at me I could see in his eyes he needed me. I wasn't going to wait around for him to save Angel.   
  
I drove around for awhile waiting until I had calmed down for the idea I had been thinking about to take place.  
  
I snatched up my cell-phone as I pulled into the parking-lot of my apartment building. I tapped my foot impatiently, humming along with the radio as 'Our Lady Peace' blared from the speakers. Finally she picked up sounding sleepy.   
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"Willow!" I snapped. Since when did she take naps??  
  
"What the-? Cordelia?" Willow sounded more awake but irritated.  
  
"Will, I need to see you! Now!" I slammed the door of my car and headed inside.   
  
"Now-"  
  
Before she could say anything I told her what had happened. She stayed silent for a moment and then sighed heavily. Her voice lowered to a whisper.   
  
"What do you need me for?"   
  
"Can you meet me somewhere?" I had gotten to the elevator and it was taking it's sweet time getting up to my apartment.   
  
"Cordy this is really sudden! I don't know how I can get a ride..."  
  
"Get Oz to drive you! Or Xander! Hell you can ride over here on a skateboard, just ask someone to drive you to Angel Investigations! Oz will know where it is."  
  
"Angel what??!"  
  
"Nothing!" I snapped impatiently, yanking open the door to my apartment. Dennis took my coat for me and I smiled in his direction, which was hard considering I couldn't see the guy. "Just get here! Bring stuff for a protection spell! This is a matter of life and death!"  
  
With that I hung up and tossed the phone aside.  
  
I got all my stuff together, making sure I got everything I needed in smaller suitcases (hey, I'm not a weight-lifter) and then I headed back to the office praying Doyle was gone.  
  
I opened the door and looked in. Sure enough, he was sitting right there, looking through a brosure of some kind. He looked up when I came into the room. I put my plan into action instantly as he opened his mouth to speak.  
  
"No, wait, don't say anything!" I began setting my stuff down. "I know that you think I'm going to do, which is whine and beg like a pathetic person to come, but as you know I am never predictable and I just want to take this moment to tell you that I don't want to go," I tried to smile convincingly and stealthily slid my stuff behind the desk. "I realized that it really doesn't matter if I go or not. I can just take a vacation!"  
  
Doyle got this funny look on his face, like he hadn't really heard what I said. Or just plain hadn't wanted to..   
  
"Uh, Princess that's great but I'm still going to need you to stay here and let me call every so often. I may need you to-" He began.  
  
I waved my hand at him carelessly. "I have a cell phone you know."   
  
Doyle seemed like he wasn't really believing what he was hearing. I had never seen such a strange look on his face. "Aren't you at least worried? I mean I could die!" He emphasized the word and I flinched.  
  
"Why should I worry? I'll get lines!" I tried to look incredulous. It was surprisingly easy, considering all my years of practice being shallow. "Look, I don't want to go with you. You told me that you could handle everything. I don't have time to worry about you! I have to pack!"  
  
Ooh. That wasn't good. Why did I say that???  
  
He shook his head and bit his lip. I thought I saw him shake a bit. A strange unwelcome feeling of guilt invaded the confidence I had been feeling.  
  
"Fine." His face became rigid with anger. "So I guess your previous need to come was spur-o-the-moment, yea?"  
  
I didn't know how to reply. I just looked at him.Doyle shook his head and walked passed me.   
  
"We'll if you can remember my name in a couple weeks, send me a postcard!"  
  
I closed my eyes as the door slammed loudly. I wasn't supposed to have this weird sinking feeling in my gut. This was part of my plan. I was a heck of an actress for pulling it off, when I was scared stiff for him. I did desperatly want to go. I figured that if he was mad at me, it would be easier for him not to suspect anything. My plan was fool proof.   
  
But I didn't count on the guilt thing.   
  
"Alright Cordelia," A familiar voice said. I whirled around and smiled at Willow. "What am I here for?"  
  
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End file.
